Who usually gives the toast at the wedding? This is a common topic of enquiry among engaged couples. It's not easy, but this manual will make it easier. Now you may quickly look up the names of the people you should ask to give toasts at your wedding.
Wedding toasts and speeches are a staple of the reception. The primary purpose of these cards is to express gratitude to the bridal party and guests for participating in the celebration. Anecdotes and heartfelt recollections might be shared over these occasions.
The speeches given at a wedding are an integral part of the ceremony, and we'll be analysing them in depth today. We'll go over the customary speakers, topics, timing, and order of wedding speeches.
If you're looking for the perfect place to host your wedding reception, look no further than Cosmopolitan events.
For those of you who aren't satisfied with the status quo, we'll wrap up by discussing several contemporary alternatives to the standard speech format.
Who Usually Gives Toasts at Weddings?
Three people typically give speeches at a wedding. Here we have the father of the bride, the groom, and the best man. Someone else can make the toast in lieu of the bride's father if he is either dead or unable to attend the ceremony.
Someone like the bride's stepfather or the bride's own mother is an illustration of this. But don't feel like you have to slavishly follow convention. On such a momentous occasion, you are free to invite anybody you'd want to give a speech. As this is your wedding, you get to choose the tone.
Many couples, for example, request that the father of the groom and the maid of honour give toasts as well. In spite of the fact that speeches by the bride are somewhat unusual, you are more than welcome to give one if you so choose.
When Exactly Do Wedding Toasts Take Place?
Traditionally, toasts are given after the wedding meal. The speeches take a long time, so they shouldn't be scheduled before the meal. While they wait, your guests' stomachs will begin rumbling, and their thoughts will turn to what they've been promised: a tasty meal.
Your speech time options are either after the dessert meal or between courses. In this way, your company will be wholly satisfied and ready to kick back and enjoy themselves. Your guests will need something to eat before the inevitable champagne toast at the end of each speech.You may also give your addresses during the evening reception if you so like.
If you're inviting extra people just for the evening and would like them all to be there for the toasts, this would be a good plan.
The Proper Order for Wedding Toasts
The customary sequence of wedding toasts and the customary content of each speech follows. The wedding toasts are an important part of the wedding ceremony that should not be skipped in favour of the reception's dancing.
Be sure to set aside some time for them when planning the evening's schedule; if done right, they may become one of the most treasured and cherished portions of the reception. Trouble deciding how long a speech should be or who to ask to deliver it? We're here to break down the toast basics.
Planning is the key to a successful wedding toast. Leave the open mic for the rehearsal dinner and start by appointing exactly who you want to speak to during your reception; unplanned toasts are nice, but you don't want to keep your guests away from the dance floor for too long.
The key speakers are:
- Your parents
- The maid of honour
- The best man
- The two of you
Here's a rundown of who typically gives what speech during a wedding.
The Welcome Toast
As soon as everyone has found a seat, the host should welcome everyone and take the mic.
The parents of the bride traditionally give the first toast at a wedding, which should include both a toast to the newlyweds and a warm welcome to the guests.
It is customary to have the bride's parents speak first, followed by the groom's.
When the happy couple is of the same sex, they get to choose whose parents will give the first toast.
The Blessing
After the initial toasts of welcome, but before the main course is served, you can invite someone to bless the meal.
Toasts From the Best Man and Maid of Honor
After the entrées have been served but while guests are still seated, the best man and maid of honour will typically make their speeches.
This ensures that clients are attentive without being distracted by wait staff clearing or serving.
Wait until the servers have calmed down after passing out the hors d'oeuvres or until you can see that everyone has grabbed a bite to eat from the buffet line or food truck if you aren't having a seated meal.
The Newlyweds Toast
There's no question that you and your partner need to address the crowd and express gratitude for their presence at your wedding.
It's up to you whether you want to give a speech before or after the cake is sliced.
Wedding Speech Order Explained
The customary sequence of wedding speeches and the customary content of each speech follows.
The Father of the Bride's Speech
In accordance with custom, the father of the bride traditionally delivers the opening remarks. The wedding reception is then hosted by the bride's family (and they usually make a significant financial contribution).
The speeches begin immediately following the wedding meal, typically with the father of the bride giving the first toast.
First, he extends a warm welcome and appreciation to all of the guests who have made the trip to the wedding. The groom is then adopted into his family.
The groom's speech is traditionally full of humorous and endearing stories about the bride as a child.
He ends by saying how wonderful the couple is and requesting a toast. Following that, he presents the groom.
The Groom's Speech
Following the father of the bride's speech, the groom gives his.
The groom's speech traditionally opens with an expression of gratitude to the bride's father for his toast. The guests are then thanked once more for coming and bringing presents (if applicable).
The groom then expresses his gratitude to the bride's and groom's families and the rest of the wedding's attendees (the bridesmaids, ushers, page boy and flower girl).
The groom's speech is a great moment to hand out any thank-you presents you may have purchased for members of the wedding party.
Grooms traditionally toast the bride's family, the bridesmaids, and the bride herself.
The Best Man's Speech
The speech of the best man is given last. Now that the solemnities are over, the best man's major responsibility is to make the guests laugh by sharing humorous anecdotes about the groom.
Keep in mind that the bride's family will likely be there, so it's important to keep the humour tasteful.
The groom also extends his gratitude to the bridesmaids and offers his congratulations to the happy couple.
Guests who were too important to invite personally are given the opportunity to send greetings to the happy couple through him. Then he gives the bride and groom a second toast.
My Dad, The Groom, Best Man Doesn’t Want to Give a Speech!
If a person does not feel comfortable giving a speech, it is not our recommendation to force them to do so. However, it is a fact that not everyone can or should be a public speaker.
Problems like social anxiety, stage fright, and dyslexia (which makes it hard to read from a cue card) might get in the way. Possible at any age! There are a few possibilities if a member of your wedding party really can't bring themselves to give a speech.
Substitute a different speaker for them to deliver the address. The bride's mother, for instance, might give a toast in place of the bride's father.
If the person is too frightened to give a speech in person, have them record it and play it on a projector for the audience.
Skip their speech entirely. It's not a big deal!
If having a speech from your father, groom, or best man during your wedding is important to you, you might persistently offer to help them prepare (or have someone else at the wedding party help them).
The best way to feel at ease while giving a speech is to write it down in advance and practise it over and over again until it is ingrained in memory.
Wedding Toast Tips
You can't make everyone's toast special, but there are several things you can do to make sure the event goes off without a hitch. Check out our list of some of the Top Wedding Cake Shops in Melbourne here.
Give Your Speakers Notice
Invite them to say a few words at the wedding a few months in advance. They'll have plenty of time to formulate their thoughts and practise their presentation thanks to this.
Provide a Time Limit
The ideal length for a toast is between three and five minutes, giving the speaker ample time to tell a narrative and express warm sentiments without boring the audience.
Let Each Person Know When They'll Be Speaking
They can then be well-prepared when their turn comes, and perhaps save the additional glass of wine for after they've finished speaking.
Who Should I Ask to Speak at My Wedding?
Before dinner is served at a wedding reception, the maid of honour and best man traditionally offer toasts.
A parent or two will often offer a speech as well.
How Long Should the Wedding Speeches Last?
The sum total of all of the remarks given at the wedding should not exceed 20 minutes. The rest of your wedding reception schedule will be thrown off if you don't feed your guests.
The best man's speech shouldn't cut into guests' dancing time.
Specify a time limit for each speaker if there will be three or more of them.
It is appropriate to inform speakers that they have three to five minutes to deliver a wedding toast.
Do the Maid of Honor and Best Man Have to Give a Wedding Speech?
Even while the maid of honour and best man typically deliver toasts at weddings, it is not mandatory.
There are a number of scenarios in which you would benefit from having someone other than yourself deliver a speech at your wedding.
One common scenario is when the bride and groom are aware that their best man or maid of honour would deliver an offensive speech.
In this situation, they ask them to be the keynote speaker at their stag or hen do. This way, they can invite an additional close friend or favourite cousin to the wedding.
The maid of honour or best man may be the person in the wedding party who suffers the most from a crippling phobia of public speaking. Toss the task of making the toast to a more charismatic member of the wedding party.
Is It Customary for a Parent to Make a Toast at Their Child’s Wedding?
The father of the bride traditionally writes the wedding toast. One reason for this is that the father of the bride traditionally foots the bill for a wedding in many societies.
For this reason, he is assigned the role of host. The father of the bride traditionally offers a toast to the wedding guests as a gesture of gratitude for their attendance at his daughter's wedding.
Yet, like many modern wedding customs, proper toasting etiquette can be adapted and personalised.
There is no requirement for the groom's father to make a toast. In some cases, neither the bride nor her father is present for the wedding.
Any one of your moms or dads will do if you ask nicely. You get to choose who gives a toast at your wedding—whether it's the father or mother of the bride or groom, or neither.
Choose one parent from each side to give a brief speech (three to six minutes) at the reception to make things easier. Leave it up to the parents to select who gives the toast.
What if Both of My Parents Gave a Speech?
One parent typically speaks for their family. However, both sets of parents are welcome to share a toast at the wedding.
However, you should be prepared for difficulties.
For instance, when more than one person is speaking at once, the duration of each utterance tends to increase dramatically.
Because there are two speakers does not mean the speech needs to be twice as long. The traditional length of a wedding toast is still 3–6 minutes.
To add, if two people are giving a single toast, they should divide the speaking time evenly. Otherwise, having one person do most of the talking can come across as awkward.
Does Tradition Require either the Bride or the Groom to Make a Toast?
In a nutshell: Yes! That's right; you guys are the special guests. Having the bride, the groom, or both of them say a few words is a kind gesture.
You can use this sample wedding speech plan as a starting point for your own:
- In your welcome address, Johnny and I are grateful to have our loved ones here to celebrate with us.
- Tell them how much they've meant to you by being there: Your presence means the world to us because of the care, love, and encouragement you've shown us. We really need you here today because without you, things just wouldn't be the same.
- To sum up, you should create: One can only dream that their marital bliss is as full of love as it is in this room at this very moment. Best wishes to everyone!
At the Dress Rehearsal Dinner, Who May Speak?
One or two speeches at the rehearsal dinner are recommended.
The rehearsal dinner is generally hosted by the groom's parents, thus this is an appropriate moment for them to make a toast if they wish to do so.
Anyone close to you can be asked to provide their thoughts throughout the rehearsal.
Have fun with your toasts because the atmosphere is more relaxed than at the wedding reception.
Twenty to thirty minutes should be allotted for "open talks." During this time, attendees can take turns speaking into the microphone.
Guests can still share a memorable anecdote about the happy couple without worrying about giving a formal toast.
As an added bonus, an open bar is known to inspire attendees to unleash their inner artists.
When It Comes to Weddings and Receptions, Does the Groom’s Mother Make a Speech?
There's no need for her to give a speech. Nonetheless, it is becoming increasingly common for the mother of the groom to give a speech at the wedding.
Do you have three or four persons scheduled to give speeches during the wedding reception?
One alternative is for the groom's mother to give a toast at the rehearsal dinner. If the rehearsal dinner is being hosted by the groom's parents, this is a lovely touch.
When Should a Guest Not Speak at a Wedding?
Create a brief list of self-assured folks you would rather not have a conversation with at the wedding rehearsal or reception.
Anyone may be a part of this. Get everyone down on paper, from your eccentric uncle who sometimes crosses the line into the inappropriate to the father you have spent most of your life avoiding.
The next step is to plan your wedding such that not every attendee gets to speak.
Your wedding day has finally arrived. Anyone can deliver a wedding speech, it's up to you to decide who..
Do You Really Need Wedding Speeches?
Wedding toasts and speeches are optional. The day is yours to do with as you please.
You can forego the toasts if your ceremony lasts less than a full day, or if nobody in your wedding party is very passionate about making a public speech.
Taking the time to express gratitude to those who made it possible—your guests and wedding party—is all that is required (if applicable).
There are plenty of alternatives to wedding speeches for this purpose. For example:
- Make sure you take the time to individually thank your guests for attending at some point during the day. (If you're having a massive wedding, this may not be practical, but it's a nice touch regardless.)
- Include a personalised note with your wedding favours to show your appreciation to your guests.
- Engage the services of your DJ (or band) to make an announcement thanking everyone for coming.
- Create a slideshow or film to play at the reception as a way to say thanks to everyone who helped make the big day possible. Do you need assistance in organising your wedding? Check out our list of Wedding Event Planners here.
When the party is over, be sure to thank everyone who attended by sending cards.
FAQs About Wedding Speeches
A wedding anniversary speech must be heartfelt, sweet, and short. Whoever is giving the speech must know that it's a time to reminisce and give good wishes. So, you'll talk about the marriage, throw in some humor and bless the couple. If it's the couple giving the speech, some advice will go a long way.
Wedding Speech Opening Lines: Simple and Sincere Opening Lines. "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and thank you (name) for the kind introduction." "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. As (name's friend/relative), I'm delighted to welcome you all here tonight."
You end your toast by asking everyone to raise their glasses and saying a charming, funny or meaningful sentiment out loud for everyone to echo – you'd usually end it with 'to the bride and groom/happy couple/newlyweds' or use their names, and the wedding party would say it back to you.
Always Introduce Yourself. Whether you're the groom and everyone is there because you invited them or you're the best man who has flown in from overseas for the occasion, it's always polite to introduce yourself.
The wedding speeches are usually the bridge between the formal wedding ceremony and the onset of the reception. The wedding speech is usually seen as an opportunity for the speech maker to wish, on behalf of himself and his family, all happiness to the newly married couple.
Conclusion
We'll be looking at the speeches that are given at weddings in great detail because they are such an important component of the event. We'll discuss who usually gives speeches at weddings and why, as well as when and in what sequence. Finally, we'll go over a few of the more modern alternatives to the classic speech structure. It would be inappropriate to forgo the wedding toasts in favour of the dancing during the reception. Your parents, maid of honour, and best man will be the featured speakers at your wedding.
Here's a list of who normally gives what speech during a wedding reception. The groom usually gives the first speech at his daughter's wedding. The groom's speech is packed with funny and sweet anecdotes about the bride when she was younger. The best man is responsible for entertaining the guests with humorous stories about the groom. Problems like social anxiety, stage fright and dyslexia might get in the way.
There are a variety of instances in which you would benefit from having someone other than yourself deliver a speech at your wedding. While it is customary for the bride's father to give a toast during the wedding, the groom's father need not do so. Allow the parents to choose the toast giver. There is still the customary 3-to-6-minute limit on the duration of a wedding toast. It's a nice touch to have the bride, groom, or both of them say a few words.
Content Summary
- Now you may quickly look up the names of the people you should ask to give toasts at your wedding.
- Wedding toasts and speeches are a staple of the reception.
- We'll go over the customary speakers, topics, timing, and order of wedding speeches.
- The customary sequence of wedding toasts and the customary content of each speech follows.
- Leave the open mic for the rehearsal dinner and start by appointing exactly who you want to speak to during your reception; unplanned toasts are nice, but you don't want to keep your guests away from the dance floor for too long.
- The parents of the bride traditionally give the first toast at a wedding, which should include both a toast to the newlyweds and a warm welcome to the guests.
- It's up to you whether you want to give a speech before or after the cake is sliced.
- The groom's speech traditionally opens with an expression of gratitude to the bride's father for his toast.
- The speech of the best man is given last.
- There are a few possibilities if a member of your wedding party really can't bring themselves to give a speech.
- If the person is too frightened to give a speech in person, have them record it and play it on a projector for the audience.
- If having a speech from your father, groom, or best man during your wedding is important to you, you might persistently offer to help them prepare (or have someone else at the wedding party help them).
- Even while the maid of honour and best man typically deliver toasts at weddings, it is not mandatory.
- Toss the task of making the toast to a more charismatic member of the wedding party.
- The father of the bride traditionally writes the wedding toast.
- There is no requirement for the groom's father to make a toast.
- You get to choose who gives a toast at your wedding—whether it's the father or mother of the bride or groom, or neither.
- The traditional length of a wedding toast is still 3–6 minutes.
- One or two speeches at the rehearsal dinner are recommended.
- The rehearsal dinner is generally hosted by the groom's parents, thus this is an appropriate moment for them to make a toast if they wish to do so.
- Have fun with your toasts because the atmosphere is more relaxed than at the wedding reception.
- Create a brief list of self-assured folks you would rather not have a conversation with at the wedding rehearsal or reception.
- The next step is to plan your wedding such that not every attendee gets to speak.
- Anyone can deliver a wedding speech, it's up to you to decide who..
- Wedding toasts and speeches are optional.
- The day is yours to do with as you please.
- You can forego the toasts if your ceremony lasts less than a full day, or if nobody in your wedding party is very passionate about making a public speech.
- Make sure you take the time to individually thank your guests for attending at some point during the day.
- Include a personalised note with your wedding favours to show your appreciation to your guests.
- Create a slideshow or film to play at the reception as a way to say thanks to everyone who helped make the big day possible.