Since the bridal shower is meant to be a more personal celebration than the wedding itself, only the closest of family and friends need be invited. The bridesmaids and/or the bride's mother typically host the bridal shower, so it's up to you to let them know who you want to invite to the event.
Have no idea where to begin? Typically, one would look to the wedding guest list as a starting point. In the same way that not every woman invited to the wedding will be invited to the bridal shower, only those who are invited to the wedding will be able to get an invitation to the shower.
Now that you've settled on a date for the bridal shower, thought carefully about a theme, and pinned dozens of ideas to your bridal shower board on Pinterest, it's time to finalise the guest list and send out invitations. Are you trying to decide who to invite to your upcoming bridal shower? Your immediate bridal party, immediate relatives, and close friends are the quick answer, but there is more to it than that. The factors to take into account when selecting the guests for a bride's shower are listed below.
Who to Invite to Bridal Shower: How to Decide?
There are certain people you'll want to include right immediately on the wedding shower guest list. It's more of a mystery to other possible visitors. In this piece, we'll share our expert advice on the subject, based on our knowledge of bridal shower customs and our own experience planning such events.
Get in Touch With the Host
You should double-check with the person footing the bill before sending out invitations to the wedding shower you're planning. If there will be activities during the bridal shower, the hosts likely have a guest list and budget in mind.
Using this method might also help you choose the guests for the bridal shower. It's much simpler to select a smaller guest list if you know the maximum number of invitees.
If you're planning a large celebration but the location won't accommodate everyone, try throwing multiple showers. The guests can be subdivided into subgroups, such as a workplace shower for coworkers and a friend's tea party.
Only Invite Those Invited to the Wedding
If you don't want to cause any unintentional hurt feelings, verify that everyone you've suggested for the wedding invite is actually invited. If they aren't, it's considered rude and unwelcome to invite them to the bridal shower.
If someone RSVPs "can't go" to your wedding, it is OK to invite them to the bridal shower. If they had hoped to attend your wedding but couldn't because of scheduling conflicts, they could appreciate the invitation to celebrate with you nevertheless.
Invite the Wedding Party
Even if the maid of honour is planning the shower, it's still a good idea to have the rest of the wedding party there to help celebrate. The entire bridal party should be invited to some events, like a coed shower.
The bride's closest friends and family members will be in her bridal or wedding party, so it only makes sense to throw them a celebration first. Expect to enlist the services of her bridesmaids, either in the planning stages or on the big day itself. While most people probably already know about the wedding shower, it is still polite to invite them.
You Shouldn't Feel Pressured to Invite Others
Just because you couldn't invite everyone to the bridal shower doesn't mean you're a bad person. Even if money were no object, you probably still want to make the event simple for the host and memorable for the guest of honour.
Conventional wisdom holds that bridal showers are intimate get-togethers for the bride and her immediate relatives and friends. Make a guest list based on that, and don't worry too much about include those who don't fit the criteria. The bride can invite whomever she wants to celebrate with her, from casual friends and distant relatives to coworkers, to her wedding.
Close Female Relatives and Friends of the Bride
Assuming it's not a very small affair, the answer is no, you don't have to invite every single female guest. Simply send invitations to the closest female friends and relatives of the bride—even the ones you know you can't make it, as a nice gesture. In addition, if you plan on surprising the bride (the event's main guest), don't immediately give her an invitation; instead, save one to include as a keepsake in her wedding book (and spoiling the surprise). Family and close friends are the next group of people to add to your guest list after the wedding party. This group of persons should make up the bulk of your invitees. This will help you limit your options and save money if you haven't decided on how many people to invite.
Never finalise the guest list for the wedding without first consulting the newlyweds. Given that no two families are alike, it's important to limit the guest list to to those members of the happy couple's immediate family who the couple actually wishes to share in their joy.
You Might Want to Plan a Mixed-Gender Shower
Although bridal showers have typically been attended by the bride's female friends and family, this need not always be the case. You should totally throw a mixed-gender bridal shower if that's what you want to do.
If the bride has many male friends and relatives, it makes perfect sense to have a coed bridal shower. If there aren't going to be two brides, this is a great way to include the groom-to-be in the planning process. You can invite more of the bride's closest friends and family members to a coed bridal shower, which can help lighten the load of planning the event.
Invite More People for Joint Wedding Showers
Instead of having two separate showers, some couples choose to have one big party. If the couple has a large group of mutual friends or just wants to enjoy the event as a group, this is a great option. A shared wedding shower is an opportunity to break with convention by inviting both the bride and groom's families and friends, and the gathering is often less formal than a traditional shower.
Couples showers, also known as shared wedding showers, are a fun and cost-effective alternative to throwing separate celebrations. Be sure to invite more people than would normally attend a wedding shower. Honorable couples are those who are able to invite those who are most dear to them.
Keep the List to a Minimum
Even if it may have been challenging to cut down the number of invitees for the wedding, the guest list for the bridal shower should be even smaller. Friends and family from both sides of the aisle are invited to a more private bridal shower. There's no need to include parents' coworkers or acquaintances, or the plus ones of guests who were already invited. In addition, unless you share a close relationship with your future in-laws, there's no need to invite their pals. The parents, grandparents, siblings, aunts, and uncles of your significant other should definitely be invited.
Don’t Include Anyone Who Weren’t Invited to the Wedding.
When considering "Who should you invite to a bridal shower?," one of the most crucial guidelines is to make sure that everyone invited has been invited to the wedding as well. However, there is the exception of a "office shower," where coworkers celebrate the upcoming wedding with the bride and groom regardless of whether or not they are invited to the wedding.
Defer to the Hosts
You may be the honoured guest, but the wedding shower guest list will be determined by the host(s). Due to the unpredictability of bridal showers, the bride might not have a good idea of how many guests to invite or how much money to set aside for the bash. Your mother, the maid of honour, or a bridesmaid should have your proposed guest list.
It Is Acceptable to Throw Several Bridal Showers.
A wedding shower can be a wonderful social event, but not everyone can make it. It's quite OK to have a second shower in a different region of the nation for the couple's extended family and friends who live there. Friends in the area where the couple now resides may throw a shower, while mum may have a shower in her hometown for extended family and friends.
Same-Sex Wedding Showers Can Be Separate or Shared
Both a joint and individual bridal shower are options for a same-sex couple. The honoree's friends and relatives should be included on both guest lists, even if they are for different showers. People from both sides of the family would be invited to the shower. No one who isn't invited to the wedding should be asked to the shower, and the same goes for inviting coworkers and distant relatives.
Coed Showers Are Common
In your mind, only females should be on the guest list for the wedding shower. It is not unusual for males to be invited to a wedding shower in modern times, especially if there are bridesmen in the bridal party. (Men and women alike are welcome at a Jack & Jill Shower, as you may have heard.) When it was originally intended for women only, you may now invite close male pals. In addition, have your father and your future husband come out at the end of the shower to greet everyone and express their appreciation for the presents they received. Future husbands may bring a present of his own to the last bridal shower event, or play in a Live Newlywed Game.
Co-workers Don’t Have to Make the Cut
Whether or not you decide to invite your coworkers to your wedding, you still may end up with an office shower. It's up to you whether or not you want to invite your boss, assistant, or other coworkers to the bridal shower, even if they are invited to the wedding.
Include Long-Distance Friends & Family
Do not assume that those who live far away will not want to receive an invitation to your wedding shower by mail. Inviting someone to your bridal shower, even if you know they won't be able to attend, shows that you care about them and wish them well. The mere fact that they were invited does not mean that they had to send a present for the bridal shower.
Invite the Couple’s Children
There are some games during a bridal shower that children might not like, but you should still invite the guest of honor's children and future stepchildren. The party's host(s) should decide whether or not to invite their nieces and goddaughters, as well as whether or not to provide a special cuisine for them.
Keep It Intimate
Although it may be challenging, the shower should only include close family and friends. Guests should include family and friends as well as the bridal party. If you are not particularly friendly with the girlfriends or boyfriends of the groomsmen or the friends of the bridesmaids' sisters, you should not feel forced to ask them to the wedding. Those closest to you, including family and friends, should be present during the shower. After all, how else will they be able to win all those fun shower games?
The Bridal Shower Host/Hostess Ultimately Decides the Number of Guests
It is the host's or hostess's prerogative to set the maximum number of guests. After all, it is their money being spent. Once a shower date has been decided upon, the hostess or host and the bride should talk about how many people they can comfortably invite. As soon as a date for the shower has been decided upon, the hostess and the bride should sit down and talk about how many people she thinks would be appropriate. If she has more people she wants to invite to the shower than that, she may want to split it up into two events, one for friends and one for family (more on that in the next point). However, the host or hostess shouldn't be pressured into inviting more people than expected.
It's Perfectly Fine to Have Multiple Bridal Showers
It's normal for multiple people to want to throw you a shower at once. However, you should tailor each invitation list to the individual host or hostess. Inviting extended family and close friends of the bride's mother to a shower held by the bride's aunts is more appropriate than inviting them to a party hosted by the bridesmaids.
You've Finally Mastered the Etiquette of "Who to Invite to a Bridal Shower?"
Keeping these guidelines in mind will help you plan a wedding shower that is attended by the bride's closest friends and family. You can now confidently host a party that guests of all ages will enjoy.
The final touches for the bridal shower can be made when the guest list has been finalised. Though time-consuming, planning a wedding shower can be enjoyable, particularly when it comes to picking out games, themes, and decorations.
Our wedding shower planning advice will help you organise a special celebration that the bride and her guests will always remember. The most important thing to keep in mind is that the wedding shower is intended for the bride-to-be, and not vice versa.
FAQs About Bridal Showers
Traditional etiquette dictates that the maid of honor—not the mother of the bride—should host the shower. Some etiquette rules were meant to fade away into oblivion, like the one about family members of the bride not hosting her bridal shower.
This may seem obvious, but inviting people who aren't invited to the wedding is inappropriate. It will likely offend them and it will look like you're pandering for gifts. The only exception is an office bridal shower, where coworkers want to impart well wishes to the bride.
Traditionally, the mother of the bride doesn't throw a bridal shower in her daughter's honor unless the bride wants her to; that's usually the duty of the maid/matron of honor. However, it is perfectly acceptable for her to attend the shower.
Bridal Shower Guest List Size. An intimate bridal shower for 15 people is perfectly normal, as is a 50-person coed shower that feels more like a cocktail party. A variety of factors can influence the size of the guest list, such as: the shower location.
Most bridal showers are usually held three weeks to three months before the wedding. There is no golden rule for choosing a time, and the final date will depend on the bride's preferences, venue availability, and scheduling issues.
Conclusion
In contrast to the formality of the wedding event, the bridal shower is an intimate party for the bride and her friends and family. Brides must complete the invitation list and send them out. Here are some things to keep in mind while making your guest list for a bridal shower. Invite them to the bridal shower instead if they respond "can't go" to your wedding. Celebrations held for the bride and her close friends and family are known as bridal showers.
Create a guest list according to that, and don't stress too much about include people who don't meet the requirements. The wedding guest list should never be finalised without the consent of the couple being married. If you haven't settled on a guest count, this will help you narrow your selections and cut costs. When it comes to showering, some couples prefer to have their own private space, while others prefer to share. Guests at the bridal shower shouldn't include anyone who wasn't also invited to the wedding.
Although traditionally held by women, current bridal showers often include men as well. Your boss, your assistant, and your coworkers are not required to be invited to the wedding shower; you can choose to invite them if you so like. The host or hostess of a bridal shower has final say over how many people are invited. One way to demonstrate you care about someone is to extend an invitation even though you know they can't make it. It's not uncommon to have several people interested in hosting a wedding shower all at once.
Content Summary
- Since the bridal shower is meant to be a more personal celebration than the wedding itself, only the closest of family and friends need be invited.
- The bridesmaids and/or the bride's mother typically host the bridal shower, so it's up to you to let them know who you want to invite to the event.
- Are you trying to decide who to invite to your upcoming bridal shower?
- There are certain people you'll want to include right immediately on the wedding shower guest list.
- You should double-check with the person footing the bill before sending out invitations to the wedding shower you're planning.
- If they aren't, it's considered rude and unwelcome to invite them to the bridal shower.
- If someone RSVPs "can't go" to your wedding, it is OK to invite them to the bridal shower.
- Even if the maid of honour is planning the shower, it's still a good idea to have the rest of the wedding party there to help celebrate.
- Make a guest list based on that, and don't worry too much about including those who don't fit the criteria.
- Simply send invitations to the closest female friends and relatives of the bride—even the ones you know you can't make it, as a nice gesture.
- Never finalise the guest list for the wedding without first consulting the newlyweds.
- You should totally throw a mixed-gender bridal shower if that's what you want to do.
- You can invite more of the bride's closest friends and family members to a coed bridal shower, which can help lighten the load of planning the event.
- A shared wedding shower is an opportunity to break with convention by inviting both the bride and groom's families and friends, and the gathering is often less formal than a traditional shower.
- Be sure to invite more people than would normally attend a wedding shower.
- Even if it may have been challenging to cut down the number of invitees for the wedding, the guest list for the bridal shower should be even smaller.
- One of the most crucial guidelines is to make sure that everyone invited has been invited to the wedding as well.
- The honoree's friends and relatives should be included on both guest lists, even if they are for different showers.
- No one who isn't invited to the wedding should be asked to the shower, and the same goes for inviting coworkers and distant relatives.
- It's up to you whether or not you want to invite your boss, assistant, or other coworkers to the bridal shower, even if they are invited to the wedding.
- There are some games during a bridal shower that children might not like, but you should still invite the guest of honor's children and future stepchildren.
- Guests should include family and friends as well as the bridal party.
- It is the host's or hostess's prerogative to set the maximum number of guests.
- If she has more people she wants to invite to the shower than that, she may want to split it up into two events, one for friends and one for family (more on that in the next point).
- However, the host or hostess shouldn't be pressured into inviting more people than expected.
- Inviting extended family and close friends of the bride's mother to a shower held by the bride's aunts is more appropriate than inviting them to a party hosted by the bridesmaids.
- Keeping these guidelines in mind will help you plan a wedding shower that is attended by the bride's closest friends and family.
- The final touches for the bridal shower can be made when the guest list has been finalised.