wedding vow

TOP TIPS AND IDEAS ABOUT HOW TO WRITE YOUR WEDDING VOWS

Top tips and ideas about how to write your wedding vows

It is difficult to put feelings into words, and this is why some couples go with traditional wedding vows. Personal vows are the new trend and finding the right words can be easy for a select few. However, when in doubt, it is easy and safe to fall back on the customary vows used around the world. The style of the wedding ceremony and couples’ wedding vows has experienced many modifications over the years. But, there are some standard vows for both the bride or groom with writer’s block. Looking for the ultimate Wedding Reception Venue in Melbourne? Look no further, Cosmopolitan events are here

Are you thinking about writing your wedding vows? It’s a tremendous undertaking, as you sit down and attempt to sum up all your love, dreams, and promises to your partner in a few short minutes. Overwhelming as it can be, it’s well worth it: It’s a chance to tell your story, give guests a peek into what makes your relationship tick and to share meaningful, sweet words with the person you love.

That’s why I wrote a blog post with ten tips and ideas about how to write your wedding vows. For more inspiration, I decided to share some examples of personal wedding vows with you that my couples wrote.

I was recently thinking about writing my vows for my future wedding, and I was wondering about how long wedding vows should be.

So how long should wedding vows be? Wedding vows should be anywhere from 45 seconds to 2 minutes long, per person. You can have your officiant read both of your promises ahead of time to make sure they are of similar length.

HOW TO START LIFE WITH THE RIGHT WORDS

You want everything to be perfect. The ceremony, the clothes, the music, and most of all the words you say to each other. You want to get it right from the start, so you have to use the words which work for your special relationship. The decision to go with either traditional vows or personal vows is due to the couple. Just one step out of many towards their happily ever after.

It’s also intimate—you’re baring your heart to the love of your life, and you’re doing so in front of your family and closest friends. If you’re up for the challenge, we’re here to help. From examples and advice to sources of inspiration, here is everything you need to know to write your wedding vows.

I am lucky as I get to read the wedding vows of many couples. Sometimes they are romantic, emotional and touching. Sometimes they are creative, funny and cheeky. Sometimes they are short and sweet, occasionally long and elaborate; sometimes they contain a poem or love letter. All of these personal wedding vows are special and meaningful in the way they express love and the uniqueness of the couple!

Many people struggle with writing their wedding vows, let alone keeping them at the right length. There are a lot of great tips and ideas for shortening your vows or increasing them if needed.

TRADITIONAL VS. PERSONALIZED VOWS

Traditional wedding vows are definitely but not too different from personalized wedding vows. It is difficult to make a comparison, however, because every wedding is unique on its own. Traditional wedding vows are not as standard or as dull as they used to be. For the ultimate commitment, choosing the right words is very important. Finding the right vows to fit your promise to each other might not be as difficult as you imagine. Some couples much prefer personalized vows in the form of short anecdotes here and there.

The Format for Saying Wedding Vows

First, the officiant will ask the bride and groom to face each other and join hands. If you have memorized your vows or repeating after the officiant, this is a very intimate way to recite your vows. However, if you choose to read your vows, holding hands might not work. Keeping one hand while holding your paper in the other is the best option.

Embrace sentimentality and don’t worry about being cheesy. Writing your vows isn’t the time to worry about being corny or cheesy. “If the words are heartfelt, then they’re not cheesy,” says Reynolds. “I’ve never heard vows that made me roll my eyes.”

How Do You Write Your Vows?

A great way to start is to read some examples (like the ones above) to inspire you. You’ll also want to discuss with your future spouse if you wish to a specific format or tone. Here are a few things to consider:

Practice reading out loud. You’ve got it all down, but the only way to make sure everything sounds perfect is to hear it out. “Reading your vows out loud will help you catch spots where the grammar might be iffy or where you’re missing a word, as well as figure out if the structure is cohesive,” Dent explains.

No hug is long enough in your arms; nothing smells better than you; no one makes me feel so profoundly and incredibly.

As your partner in crime, wife, and soulmate, I promise to be your strength when you need, to make you laugh when you feel down, to make your life as happy and as brilliant as you’ve made mine.

Simply, I want to say, in the city of Paris and the beautiful Eiffel as witnesses: You are my husband, and I, your wife.

  • Do you both want to say the same thing?
  • How long do you want your vows to be?
  • Do you want to include humour in your vows?
  • Do you want to keep your vows a secret until the day, or share them beforehand?
  • Do you want to write them separately or work on them together?

Indicate pauses and intonation. “You’ll want to allow time to laugh or tear up without interrupting your flow,” says Dent. “You don’t want to rush through your vows, and your guests don’t want you to either. For the best comprehension and emotional reactions, take it slow and focus on breaks, pauses, and intonation.”

Answer These Questions to Get Started

One of the hardest parts about exchanging vows is worrying over how people will react to your words versus your partner’s. Instead of thinking about it as a vow writing competition, get on the same page about your expectations and agree to the following.

Thank you for holding my hand and loving me through every moment, even when it is hard.

You deserve the love that books, plays, and movies talk about.

I promise to love you better than that.

I promise my love to you today, tomorrow, this life, and the next life.

If God makes me a bee in the next life, then I will find you my flower.

I am yours, eternally.

What is the Purpose of Marriage Vows?

The purpose of vows is the express your love and commitment to each other before a group of witnesses.

The depth of meaning is different for each couple. Some see it as a binding commitment before God that they will love and serve each other all the days of their life. Others see it as a time-honoured tradition to express lifelong commitment and deeper trust toward the other person. 

  • How long should the vows be?
  • Will you share inside jokes or would you rather keep things more generic?
  • Will they learn more humorous or sentimental, or a mixture of both?
  • Do you want to incorporate elements of traditional or religious vows into your own?

Wedding Vow Template

While traditional wedding vows are usually very structured, you don’t have to be quite as strict while writing your own. Ready to get inspired? This outline is a great place to help you get started.

So for more inspiration on how to write wedding vows following, you will find ten examples of personal wedding vows. Wedding vows are no competition, so I did not choose “the best” promises. Instead, I decided vows that represent a specific tone or type of pledges to help you to get a better feeling of how to write your wedding vows.

If you’re an emotional person who will likely cry through your vows, you’ll probably want to stay in the 45-second range and keep things simple. Longer promises may include your embellishments, loving words, and humour.

Some couples even want vows with scripts for their kids, so they can say, “I do too.” For this, it is possible to use traditional vows as a foundation and for inspiration. These vows, conventional or personalized, not that dissimilar. Both of them make promises and a real commitment to lifelong love.

Make sure to say, “I love you.” This seems like a no-brainer, but Monique Honaman says she is often shocked at how many couples leave those three little words out of their vows.

Also, personal wedding vows are – as the Name says – something personal. As a matter of course, I respect the intimacy of my couples. That means I only anonymously share the vows without the Name or picture of the bride, groom or couple close to it. The pair that you see on the images are not the ones that wrote the personal wedding vows that you can read next to it!

Here are some examples of vows of various lengths:

{Name}, I love you. You are my best friend. I promise to love and care for you, and I will try in every way to be worthy of your love. I promise to encourage and inspire you, to laugh with you, and to comfort you in times of sorrow and struggle.

Melbourne Wedding speech

TRADITIONAL WEDDING VOWS TO INSPIRE YOU

Below are a few traditional vows which could act as a template of sorts to help you pen down that final vow.
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  • “I [Name], take you [Name], to be my [husband/wife], my partner in life and my one true love. I will cherish our union and love you more each day than I did the day before. I will trust you and respect you, laugh with you and cry with you, loving you faithfully through good times and bad, regardless of the obstacles we may face together.

Tell your partner you’ll be there through thick and thin. Most wedding vows—whether traditional or personal—touch on sticking around through sickness and health, through good times and bad times, and for richer or for poorer. “The reality is that all marriages have their cycles of peaks and valleys,” Honaman says. “It’s nice to communicate your intent to get through those valleys together.”

ALL THAT I PROMISE

These vows are close to traditional vows as they are listing all the things that the couple promises each other. But other than traditional vows these promises are personal and reflect the uniqueness of the couple:

Together we will face all of life’s experiences and share one another’s dreams and goals. I eagerly anticipate the chance to grow together, getting to know the person you will become, and falling in love a little more each day. I give you my hand, my heart, and my love, from this day forward for as long as we both shall live.

“I, [Name], take you, [Name], to be my friend, my lover, the [mother/father] of my children and my [husband/wife]. I will be yours in times of plenty and in times of want, in times of sickness and in times of health, in times of joy and in times of sorrow, in times of failure and in times of triumph. I promise to cherish and respect you, to care and protect you, to comfort and encourage you, and stay with you for all eternity. “

Share personal stories. It’s so much more interesting for your friends or family to hear about your odd quirks and intimate moments—and don’t be afraid to talk about the highs and the lows. “Many people make the mistake of thinking that vows are only about the highs in your relationship,” says Alexis Dent, founder of the vow- and toast-writing company XO Juliet. “But guests (and your S.O.) want to hear vows that are real. If you’ve been through bumpy spots…you should express that.”

On this day, I give you my heart.

I promise to encourage your kindness and optimism because they are what make you unique.

I will nurture your dreams and support your goals because now, they are mine as well.

I will help shoulder our challenges because there is nothing we cannot face if we stand together.

I will build a home with you and fill it with laughter because laughing is what we do best.

I, {Name}, take you {Name}, to be my {husband/wife}, my constant friend, my faithful partner in life, and my one true love. On this special, holy day, I give to you in the presence of God and all these witnesses my sacred promise to stay by your side as your {husband/wife} in sickness and in health, in joy and in sorrow, as well as through the good times and the bad.

  • “I give you my hand, my heart, and my love, from this day forward for as long as we both shall live.”
  • “[Name], I take you to be my lawfully wedded [husband/wife]. Before these witnesses, I vow to love you and care for you as long as we both shall live. I take you with all of your faults and your strengths as I offer myself to you with all of my faults and strengths. I will help you when you need help, and I will turn to you when I need help. I choose you as the person with whom I will spend my life.”

Make promises. Vows aren’t just cute anecdotes—they are a promise, a serious commitment that you’re making in front of a whole lot of witnesses. That doesn’t mean they have to be heavy, however. “You can vow not only to be the one to kill spiders whenever they creep their way into your home,” suggests Dent.

I will share with you the joys in life because they are most meaningful to you by my side.

Lastly, I promise to love, respect and cherish you.

I promise to be a faithful and loyal friend.

I promise to treat you as my equal through all our years and all that life may bring us.

I love you.

I promise to join with you and to share all that is to come, to give and to receive, to speak and to listen, to inspire and to respond. Through all of the uncertainties and trials of life, I promise to be faithful to you and love you, so that together we may grow in the likeness of Christ and that our home may glorify and praise Him. This is my commitment made in love, kept in faith, and made new day-by-day, as long as we both shall live.

“On this day, I give you my heart, My promise, That I will walk with you, Hand in hand, Wherever our journey leads us, Living, learning, loving, Together, Forever.”

Acknowledge the support you’ll need from others. You’ve gathered your friends and family to celebrate your wedding, but the truth is, you’ll need them just as much during your marriage. So, Honaman recommends you acknowledge “the role of religion or God in making your marriage work or the role of family and friends who will help support you when times get tough.”

OUR LOVE IS OUR DESTINY

The following vows just contain one promise at the very end. Instead, they explain why this love is meant to be and why it will last forever – because this love is destiny:

In our lifetime, we have crossed paths so many times that I’m starting to be a believer.

I’m fated to be with you.

The first time was during our teens, and it was short but memorable.

The second meeting was during our twenties, we got to know each other better, and I was given a chance to love you, but sadly it was not our time.

I promise to get up and get our remote from across the room, even if it was not I who placed the remote so very far away. 

I promise never to steal your covers unless you are hogging them.

I can’t believe how lucky I am to be marrying my BFF. 

Don’t wait until the last minute. Plan to have your vows written at least three weeks before your wedding. Trust us: You’ll be thankful for the rehearsal when those wedding day jitters kick in.

We lost touch for a while, but you always seem to find me.

When I finally thought that we have moved on with our life, we met again in our thirties.

This time we never let go of each other.

Thanks to the kiss that reminded you of our love.

Thank you for believing in me and having the courage to be with me finally.

You are the sunshine of my life, and you bring me so much happiness.

I vow to love, honour, and be there for you until my last breath.

Here are the traditional wedding vows where the bride and groom repeat the lines as directed by the officiant. These vows take approximately 2 minutes for both the bride and groom to recite together:

Officiant: {Groom}, do you take {bride} to be your lawfully wedded wife, to love her, honour and keep her in sickness and in health and forsaking all others, following only unto her so long as you both shall live.

Make a list of all your thoughts. You don’t have to try to put everything into sentences right away. Jot down all the things you love about your soon-to-be spouse, what you’re looking forward to most in your marriage and what promises you want to make to your future husband or wife. Revisit these notes later and highlight your favourite items. Use those as the starting point for your vows.

WHAT YOU ARE TO ME

Your wedding vows are also a declaration of your love. So why not tell the other one what you like, respect, admire, and what inspires you!

I love you so much.

Not only because you are kind, caring and thoughtful, but you are also ambitious and driven, but don’t let life stresses bring you down.

When I look at you, I see purity, kindness, patience, and strength.

I see the man who walks old ladies across the street in traffic without hesitation, who always prays for small animals on the road. Cosmopolitan events has proven itself to be an iconic wedding venue and function centre in Melbourne. Book today so you don’t miss out.

Groom: I do. I {Name} take you, {Name} to be my lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for more products for poorer, in sickness and in health for as long as we both shall live.

Write up to three drafts. Take a few days—even a week—to give you and your vows some space. After you’ve taken time apart, go back and reread what you wrote. If needed, do this one or two more times. But after three times, it’s time to stop—continuously rewriting will drive you crazy.

I see someone who works tirelessly for his goals.

I see a funny, brilliant mind and an even more brilliant soul.

I see us old and grey together, and still laughing and giddy like children.

I am excited about our future together as Husband and Wife.

You’ve taught me that I can love more than I could have imagined.

You inspire me to be the best version of me every day.

Officiant: {Bride}, will you take {Groom} to be your lawfully wedded husband, to love him, honour and keep him in sickness and in health and forsaking all others, following only unto him so long as you both shall live.

Don’t try to include everything. It’s understandable to want to fit everything you’re feeling into your vows—but in reality, you just can’t cover everything. “It’s impossible to fit every single emotion and memory into your vows,” says JP Reynolds, M.Div., celebrity officiant and author of How to Write Your Vows.

 I will. I {Name} take you, {Name} to be my lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for more products for poorer, in sickness and in health for as long as we both shall live.

Avoid words like “always” and “never.” This kind of simple language is all but impossible to live up to in real life. It’s not always going to be easy, so don’t promise perfection.

We have had many adventures over the past couple of years, and they have been some of the best in my life.

I cannot wait to see what the future holds because I know it will be amazing as long as you are by my side.

Thank you for making my dreams come true.

I love you forever.

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FUNNY & ROMANTIC GO WELL TOGETHER

In these personal wedding vows, the couple refers to funny incidents of their love story, to their hilarious nicknames and also includes jokes about the tiny differences they have. These vows are hilarious and, at the same time, so romantic because these vows perfectly reflect the couple!

How you say, your vows are entirely up to you. Those who know they’ll cry through their vows may choose the “repeat after me” method or to read them instead of memorizing.

If you decide to memorize your vows, it’s a good idea to make a copy for your officiate. This way, if you get stuck or forget any words, your officiant can discreetly whisper them to you.

Go after laughter. The ability to make your significant other smile and even laugh out loud during your ceremony will serve you well in your marriage.

I love you with all my heart.

Almost 13 years ago, I accidentally hit you in passing, you know the story, I was dancing.

I won’t apologize for my uncoordinated arms and legs, and they’ve wonderfully lead me to you.

Now here we are.

Finally, I’m marrying my Hero and my best friend.

You’re my Engineer-Nerd, the dark wizard that melted this ice princesses’ heart.

I am excited about our future together as Husband and Wife.

After reciting your vows, then the rings are exchanged. You may choose to make the ring exchange a separate part of the ceremony or include it as part of your promises.

Get inspired by books, songs, movies, and poems. If you have a favourite line from a movie or song that expresses your feelings, use it as a starting point. And don’t discount children’s books, such as Maurice Sendak and Ruth Krauss’s I’ll Be You and You’ll Be Me, and I Like You, by Sandol Stoddard. Kids’ books often have a way of communicating deep, complex emotions in simple sentences and might just provide the inspiration you’re looking for.

I promise to love you, fiercely and infinitely.

I promise to nurture your dreams and help you reach them.

I promise to turn off the lights in the house when not in use.

I promise that my love for you will never wane, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, no matter where we are or what circumstance.

You are my Hot Ryu, my Superman, my Kahl, and Incredible Hulk.

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ETERNALLY YOURS

These vows are so romantic that the promise reaches out into their next life. So don’t be scared to be flowery – if there is one right moment in your life to be a hopeless romantic, it is on your wedding day!

You are my best friend.

The moment I met, you were the pinnacle of my existence.

Loving you since then has been my passion and purpose.

Once your vows are written, you’ll find it helpful to practice saying them out loud every day for a month leading up to your wedding day. This is helpful whether you plan on memorizing or reading your vows. It will help you not stumble over your words and speak for your spouse and witnesses to hear.

HOW YOU CHANGED ME

You showed me a new perspective on life, and you changed me for the better. Isn’t that a beautiful declaration of love?

When I met you, I was a vagabond going from place to place with no roots, no home, and no desire to stay in one place.

Then you came into my life, and suddenly everything changed.

What does “to have and to hold” mean? The phrase “to have and to hold” refers to the physical and emotional intimacy that is reserved to your spouse and him/her only. By saying these words, you are committing to fulfill these needs for your spouse.

Marissa, I love you with all my heart. I have been thankful for these past two years that you were not the best driver on that fateful day. Stopping in the middle of a busy 90/04 to see if everyone was okay, there I met the woman who is standing before me today. When we started dating, I gained a family, a woman who loves me, and an adorable whippet—both whom I adore with all my heart.

I finally knew what it was to be homesick, what it was to miss someone, what it was to love someone so much that it hurts.

I knew I could only be happy if I could come home to you every night.

I know that I am hard to read at times, but I vow to live my life with you like an open book and always to show the love and affection I have for you in my heart.

You will always be the only one for me.

We have survived trials and tribulations, from Hurricane Irma to differing political views, we have pulled through.

The apple of my eye.

My little scoop.

I promise to hold you and our marriage sacred, to honour you, to miss you when I’m away, and not to be away too often.

I’m happy beyond words to be your husband, and I can’t wait for the rest of our life to unfold together.

PAST & FUTURE

In your vows, you can also look back to your shared history and talk about your shared future:

The last six years have just flown by, filled with so many beautiful memories with you.

Before we met, I didn’t know I could love one person this much and be this happy, but somehow you managed to make it happen.

You are so beautiful.

Take some time to think about your future spouse and write down all the things that made you fall in love with him/her. Think about the challenges and good times that you’ve already been through together. Just start by jotting down notes about these things

Ask a trusted friend to listen and edit. A close friend who is a great sounding board (and a pro at keeping secrets) is an important ally to have. “They can give you constructive criticism and help you improve your vows to make sure you get that meaning across,” says Dent.

I love that irresistible smile of yours that is so genuine and pure.

I love your kind heart, and I love your weirdness that makes me laugh.

We’ve certainly been through a lot.

I’m proud of our past, and I’m thrilled about our future together.

We started with nothing but love.

Next, think about the promises you want to make to your spouse. For example, you might say, “I promise always to be there to love and support you, no matter what life throws our way.” 

Make a fresh copy of your vows for the ceremony. Whether you typed your vows up on your laptop or wrote them on a napkin at a bar, it’s essential to think about how they’ll look when they come into view during the ceremony. Rewrite or reprint a fresh copy—or consider reading them from vow books your officiant can hold until it’s time. “Yes, the focus will be on the words themselves, but the aesthetics matter, too,” says Dent.

I promise you that this love will continue to be the foundation of our forever committed relationship.

I promise to respect you and protect you with my life and to be by your side no matter what.

As I often say, you always make me want to be better, so I promise to become a better man for you.

I love you so much.

Many people say marriage is hard, but I’m sure we will crush it.

Let’s show them how it’s done.

When writing your wedding vows, it may be helpful to have an outline like this:

  1. State your love – Example, “{Name}, I love you. You are my best friend.”
  2. Offer promises – Example, “I promise to stay by your side as your {husband/wife} in sickness and in health, in joy and in sorrow, as well as through the good times and the bad.”
  3. Final vow – Example, “This is my commitment made in love, kept in faith, and made new day-by-day, as long as we both shall live.”

Keep the vows a secret from your partner until the ceremony. “Your vows are a gift to one another, so don’t share them ahead of time,” Reynolds explains. It will make the ceremony all the more impactful and emotional if you’re hearing them for the first time.

Say Thank you in Your Marriage Vows

With your wedding vows, you also have the chance to say: “Thank you!” You can express how grateful you are for having each other and for the qualities that you love in one another:

I take you to be my husband.

I feel like the luckiest girl in the world today, to be marrying my best friend.

I thank God every day for sending me, my soul mate.

The wedding vows are meant to be promises that are kept throughout the couple’s life, no matter what challenges and trials might come their way. They promise to remain by the other person’s side for life.

Wedding Vow Examples to Inspire Your Own

“Gabriel, you came into my life at precisely the right time: when I wasn’t ready, and yet, when I needed your love the most. In the past two years, we’ve experienced great triumphs and natural disasters together.

From early on, I somehow knew you were the one that you were going to be my lobster.

I love how we are always humming the same songs and finishing each other’s sentences.

You are the only person in the entire world who knows me the best and loves me so much for everything that I am.

Thank you for never making me worry or doubt your love for me.

Thank you for making me feel like a well-fed princess every day.

Marriage vows also show the witnesses that you have dedicated your life to this one person and none other. 

Related Questions

Does our wedding vow in the Bible? Technically, the Bible does not mention anything about marriage vows. However, many Bible verses talk about marriage and committing yourself to your spouse, which people use as part of their promises.

These trials have pushed the boundaries of what we thought we could endure, and in the end, I feel more strongly connected with you in a resolve to get up and try again. I love you, dearly, for all that you are. I am amazed by your inquisitive mind and tickled by your sense of humour. I may not want to admit it, but I even love your awful puns.

Here we are, 6-years and still going strong.

I can’t wait to continue our adventures and build our life together.

I promise to be at your side no matter what life throws at us.

You are my better half, and I give you my hand, my heart, and my love, from this day forward as long as we both shall live.

What does “for better or worse” mean? The phrase “for better or worse” means that you will love and support each other, whether the outcome of a situation is good or bad. It means that no matter what happens, your love for the other person will not change.

 As your wife, I promise to love you with the same determination and confidence you’ve given me. I vow to support you through more ups and downs. I pledge to commit myself to our family, and the good I know will grow from it. I promise this all to you until I am no more.”


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