Is Having a Destination Wedding Selfish?

It's no surprise that weddings at exotic locations are becoming increasingly popular. Nothing could be more ideal than gathering all of your closest friends and family and whisking them away to a breathtaking setting to see you wed the one you've always dreamed of.

In spite of the fact that weddings at exotic locations are wonderful, many questions remain unanswered, both for the couple and their guests. Can we have a successful honeymoon if We stay at the same hotel?   Will there be a turnout?

I'm sure the soon-to-be wed couple has a million and one things on their minds. The venue and guest list are the most crucial decisions to make. It's possible that you'll want to take the financial means of your guests into account while deciding on a venue here.

Why Having a Wedding Away From Home Isn't Rude or Selfish

If you follow the tips in this section, your destination wedding won't be considered impolite or self-centered.

Only if the couple being married were brats could their destination wedding be considered selfish and disrespectful. What I mean is that you are demanding that everybody go to the event no matter what their financial position is like. Yes, it is selfish and impolite to have a destination wedding if it makes people feel awful about not being able to attend.

Some of your guests may be disappointed since they expected you to have a fairytale wedding at a castle down the street. Our only option is to act civilly and move on.

You're Not Being Selfish if You Offer to Foot The Bill For The Wedding.

Keep in mind that at least in the culture I'm writing about, the newlyweds now have complete say over all aspects of their wedding. Everyone else ought to take pleasure in your success and be content to do what you ask of them, within reason.

If the partner is footing the bill for the nuptials, this becomes much more of an issue. Because it is their money being spent, they should have a say in how it is allocated. The couple should be allowed to make their own choices, including whether or not to pay for a destination wedding.

This gets more complicated if the couple is counting on their parents' or other people's financial support to cover all or most of the wedding costs. It's common for such generous "donors" to insist on being involved in some way, such as deciding whether or not you're able to have your foreign wedding after all.

Be sure your parents, grandparents, and other contributors know early on that you want a destination wedding if they will be contributing to foot the bill. If you've discussed the issue and come to an agreement, you're safe.

You Can Talk to Your Guests All You Want; it's Not Impolite.

More so than with a traditional wedding, a destination nuptial requires an open channel of communication with the guests. It's a great idea to put out some feelers before sending out invitations.

Send personalised notes or make phone calls to each of your invitees. This may seem like a lot of effort, but think about how much these people mean to you. You won't skip this procedure if you want them to be there at your ceremony or to at least try to make it. Just let them know what you have planned and that there is no need to rush them to be there.

Assure them that you hope to see them there but will understand if they can't make it. First, you should try to estimate how many of your invited visitors will actually show up.

Can you count on your closest friends and relatives to be there? You may need to rethink your wedding arrangements if many people are going to have trouble attending.

You don't have to cancel your Hawaii or Paris wedding plans because of this. You and your partner may find that you can only take the journey together, but you can still celebrate your "blessed" and wedding with friends and family when you return.

Send out invites and follow up with potential attendees to make sure they understand you are not asking them to shell out a fortune to attend your party. Keep in regular contact and don't close off lines of communication.

Tackling All The Legalese Can be Challenging.

We knew from the beginning that we wanted a destination wedding, despite the difficulties. We researched Mexico and Hawaii (where some islands have a curfew at 10 p.m.) (bloodwork is required in order to obtain a marriage license). Perhaps the most romantic city in the world, we considered Paris as a possible elopement location. This seemed like a great plan until we learned that residents must be based in the city for at least 40 days before they may legally tie the knot there. We decided on Italy, where a civil ceremony must precede any religious or symbolic blessing, but we still plan to have a private ceremony because we find it charming.

There is no Guarantee That the Costs of a Wedding Abroad Will Be Lower Than Those of a Domestic one.

Our savings evaporated as soon as we converted from dollars to euros. Read the fine print of all contracts to ensure there are no hidden fees, and don't forget to budget for things like extra transportation and wedding weekend activities.

Keep In Mind That Not Everyone Will Agree With Your Choice.

Some of our guests thought it was incredibly selfish of us to have our wedding in another country, where they would need to take time off work, pay more money, and deal with additional logistics. When possible, They gave credence to their viewpoints because We agreed with them entirely. Don't let the opinions of others cause you mental anguish; instead, be clear on your goals and stubbornly pursue them. You can show your family and friends that you care by giving them a warm welcome by leaving a gift bag in their guestroom. Pack some snacks, a map, and a few reference books in there for the road. Plan your welcome party and other celebrations with consideration for the possibility that your visitors will be suffering from jet lag.

It's Essential To Hire a Coordinator For The Event.

Not only should you hire a wedding planner overseas, but you should also find someone to assist you locally. Enter into the relationship knowing that the language barrier and cultural barriers in wedding planning could lead to misunderstandings.

No Sacrifices Are Too Great to Make.

Since becoming engaged, the future couple have had the most fun we could have ever imagined planning this wild, chaotic trip in a strange country. Weddings at exotic locations emphasise close family and friends, a sense of romance, and, most of all, a chance to kick back and enjoy the occasion. The hardships we have endured on this journey have been nothing compared to the happiness we will feel as we celebrate our wedding in the land of love.

Planning a destination wedding sounds like a wonderful idea! Is it really your family and friends that matter most on your big day? Or, should we be married in a tropical paradise if we know that 50 percent of our guests won't be able to attend? This is a huge request, and not just in terms of money. You're the one who's saying "I do," so why do we even need to ask "why"? It's undeniable the fact that weddings held at exotic locations can be breathtaking. It's understandable that they'd like to share this once-in-a-lifetime experience with their loved ones. Modern engaged couples like the idea of having a destination wedding, where they can tie the knot on a far-flung beach or in a foreign country with significant historical significance. That sounds like THE dream, right?

The argument that choosing to have a wedding in a far-off location is an act of selfishness has not gone away, even as destination weddings have grown in popularity. Inquire further into it with me. Why are people so quick to label destination weddings as self-centered, and how much thought should you give to this?

The common perception is that destination weddings represent the ultimate "me, me, me" attitude. But if you really stop to think about it, you're basically making people take a break from work and go on a vacation to a place they have no interest in seeing, all so that they may spend their time with you.

Many couples opt for a wedding away from home for various reasons. Some people want to relocate so that they can be near family who live far away, while others do so for the opposite reason. The celebration of love is sometimes incorporated into a larger group trip that includes friends and relatives. In order to keep the guest list limited, some couples choose to have their nuptials at a remote location. A sentimental connection to the location may also play a role in the couple's decision. Friends and family may have to travel great distances to attend a wedding, regardless of its location.

The bride and groom can spend more quality time with their guests at a vacation wedding. They might take a trip together and have more than just a few hours to catch up. The couple faces a problem as they try to mitigate their feelings of regret over the potential low turnout of their wedding's invited guests.

Contrarily, it's crucial that the invitation be extended without any conditions. Keep in mind that it is entirely up to them if they decide to come. Nobody should be pressured into attending your wedding because you want them to RSVP "yes." In all honesty, a lot of common sense seems to be misplaced at destination weddings themselves, when most tales are of brides and grooms who lost their minds and tried to guilt-trip guests into taking time off work or spending money when they weren't comfortable doing so - all in the name of Theirs. The. Best. Day. Putting one's own needs first is not altruistic. Are Couples Being Isolated When They Choose to Have Their Weddings Abroad?

Most of your friends and family won't be able to afford to go to your wedding's destination, and by excluding them you're not being very considerate of those who can. The problem is that they don't want to attend your wedding on your terms. Having a destination wedding is already a stressful event for the couple planning it because it places an enormous financial and time strain on the few guests who are able to go while preventing the majority of the invited guests from attending. After all, you're piling on top of the usual wedding stress by going on a vacation (travelling to an unknown place; not knowing the language; dealing with weird food; dealing with strange hairdressers and tailors in a foreign language, etc.). Put simply, don't put these two together.

Remember that you don't have to invite everyone under the sun while compiling the guest list. Only invite close friends and family. Bear in mind the word "invited." You aren't compelled to drag someone across the globe with you. As with every wedding, some of your invited guests may opt to attend while others may not. The day revolves around you and your fiance. Your invitees are merely there to share in your joy as a couple. Self-absorbed? Perhaps, but the wedding is YOUR day! Stop caring about what other people think and do what feels right for you. When your mind is in Bali, the last place you want to be planning your wedding is in a temple or your family's ancestral home.

Someone may have questioned your decision to have a destination wedding and accused you of being selfish if you have already started planning it. It may appear cumbersome or expensive to travel to the Caribbean just to attend a wedding from the perspective of a visitor. And if you've always imagined being married with "salt in my hair and sand on my feet," a beach ceremony is the perfect way to fulfil that fantasy. The alternative is to have a small, low-key ceremony in your hometown and then jet off on a honeymoon to somewhere exotic. It's up to you to decide.

Everyone's Mood Can be Lightened by Doing so.

Once again, there is a wide range of possible timings for this, but in our case, the overwhelming majority of guests arrived quite early on the day of the wedding.

Both members of the couple can feel more at ease. While it's true that distance might make it more difficult to piece together the full story, They also believe that it aids in the process of letting go. As it was, planning our wedding from across the nation allowed me to focus on the big picture rather than the small details .

That is not to say that everything ran smoothly; just the contrary. However, it was a lot simpler to deal with unexpected events when we didn't start off so tightly focused on the technicalities. And if the wedding is held in a resort, the couple may have even less to plan because everything is provided as part of a prearranged package.

A Smaller Guest List Can be Easily Managed.

This is an advantage for some people but a con for others; if the couple wants a huge party with lots of guests, they probably shouldn't have a destination wedding. However, this is one option for those who prefer a more intimate wedding. While it could have been simple to accommodate three hundred visitors at the community centre, many out-of-town sites are less accommodating.

However, and this is a big but (restrain your inner 7-year-old), this should not be the primary motivation for having a destination wedding, and it does not justify using it as a way to artificially cull the guest list (meaning, it is not okay to add people banking on the fact that they won't come—immature that's and appears to be like the couple is just fishing for more gifts). Assuming you're an adult, you can manage (obviously unpleasant) inquiries as to why certain guests weren't invited to your wedding.

Deals to Strike with Destination Wedding Skeptics

What can you do if you've already told everyone you know that you want to have a destination wedding, and they all tell you that it's not possible? You shouldn't be selfish and force things to happen by insisting that they find a way to succeed.

As an alternative, consider the following compromise options:

You and your spouse may take a journey to your dream location, get married in a small, personal ceremony on the beach, and then have a big party back home with your family and friends. Truthfully, for many people, that would be the ideal situation.

You can have the wedding of your dreams without having to deal with the guests who didn't want to come along on the honeymoon.

Alternatively, you might simply go on a trip with your family or a small group of close friends. You could afford to send the two or four individuals who are closest to you in the world on a vacation because the group is so small, and you'd be doing them a huge favour.

I'd want to leave you with some final words of support for a destination wedding if that's something you've been considering. It's not selfish if you handle it properly.

Don't try to coerce or make them feel awful for not coming if close friends and family members are upset about it.

Substitute a new strategy. Prepare to go on your own as a couple or with a small group of people (two to four others). Those around you will have no choice but to accept your judgments.

Let everyone know your decision in a calm and respectful manner, and go forwards from there.