How to Announce an Adults-Only Wedding?

The Protocol for Adult-Only Weddings

Always apply the rule uniformly; some guests may not fit the description. Children of the bride and groom, bridesmaids, ushers, and any page boys and flower girls are the only permissible exclusions, provided that you inform the other guests. Forget about your parents missing the party. You have every right to have a child-free wedding, and they have every right to decline to treat if it's too much trouble or they don't want to be separated from their kids.

Don't feel obligated to explain your decision to restrict attendance to those over the age of 18. It's okay to let some parents out early. You may want to rethink your no-children policy if your wedding is going to be a destination one, as it will be more challenging for parents to travel without their children or locate child care in a foreign place. It's not required but very appreciated if you'd want to help towards the cost of a creche or other professional babysitter.

Let's say you have a special relationship with the children of close friends or relatives. If that's the case, a handwritten note attached to the invites is a great way to express your regret for having to decline their invitations.

What to Say at an Adult-Only Wedding Invitation?

The Subtle Way

It's easiest to just say "adults only" on the invitation if you don't want any children at the wedding. Including the invited individuals' names or RSVP numbers on the card will further solidify this.

The subtle way has an inherent flaw in that it is unobtrusive. There is a chance that some visitors will treat the host and their children as one and the same. The situation can get tense if the parents find out at the last minute and are unable to make alternate plans or bring their children to the wedding. This guest list may require verbal confirmation that no children will be attending the wedding.

Straight to the Point

There won't be any ambiguity thanks to how straightforward it is. Be sure to note on the invitation or reply card that there will be no children attending the wedding. Any of the following succinct expressions can be used:

• In the absence of offspring
• Only mature adults admitted
• There is a strict no-children policy in effect.
• Event for grownups only: wedding and reception
• We kindly ask that you keep the reception adult-only.
• Exclusively for the Older Crowd
• Only those of legal age are invited to attend.

Though this strategy works, it's important to remember that some of your guests may find it offensive.

Sugarcoat It

So, you've got a lot of people who are "pro-kids at weddings" or you love kids yourself, but for practical or aesthetic reasons, you've decided not to invite them. Try easing the tension with a sweet and caring gesture:

• We've decided to hold an adults-only reception at our wedding so that everyone, including the parents, can kick back and enjoy the evening. With any luck, you'll still be able to celebrate our big day with us and have the evening off thanks to this heads-up.
• We would much appreciate the presence of children at the event. However, the only adult-oriented motif is the reception.
• Our establishment is an adult-only zone, and we kindly ask that you not bring your youngsters.
• Despite our enjoyment of seeing the kids play, today is for grownups only.
• Sleep tight, kids (under 16)
• The downside is that this will either require a separate card to be printed on or take up a lot of room on your invitation.

It's Someone Else's Decision

There are some platforms that aren't suitable for children, and it's not uncommon for wedding venues to have a no-children policy. You can indicate this on your invitation by including one of the following phrases:

• As our forum does not allow children, we will not be having any little ones in attendance.
• No minors, per management request (or whatever age this may be).
• Management has specifically requested no youngsters under the age of 18.
• We are unable to accommodate children at this time.
• As an added bonus, shifting the responsibility in this way will keep you safe from any ire from your unsatisfied guests.

Kids at the Ceremony, No Kids at the Reception

Try something like this if you want children to be present at the ceremony but not the reception:

• Only the ceremony is appropriate for children.
• An exclusive cocktail hour for adults follows the wedding ceremony.
• Children are welcome to attend the ceremony, but the reception is only for adults.
• Children are welcome at the ceremony, but we kindly ask that they be left at home so that our adult guests can have a stress-free evening.

The Ins and Outs of an Adults-Only Wedding

Do Properly and Carefully Address Your Invitations

Guests under the age of 18 should not attend the wedding. How? Ensure that your invitations are sent to the correct people. Otherwise, some parents might think it's okay to bring their kids along. To go the additional mile, you can even put their full names on the reply card (the same way you addressed them on the outer envelope).

Don't Print "Adults Only" on the Invitations.

Your decision to keep your wedding child-free should not make you feel bad, but it would be impolite to put your decision in bold on the invitations. That's a surefire way to cause some drama. Some of your guests, especially relatives and friends who live far away and may bring their children, may take offence at your decision to have a child-free wedding. Make sure visitors have plenty of time to find a babysitter by having your family, wedding party, and friends spread the word by word of mouth.

Do Mention it on Your Wedding Website

Details such as the registry, transportation alternatives, dress code, and more that aren't appropriate for the invitations can be posted on your wedding website. That's why it's a nice gesture to suggest local childcare services alongside a notice outlining why the party will be adults-only.

Do Have a Flower Girl and Ring Bearer at the Ceremony (if You Want)

Flower girls, ring bearers, and other young attendants are welcome to participate in the ceremony. The challenge arises, though, if you only want them there for the ceremony and not the celebration itself; after all, they are children and would feel cheated otherwise. Then, it's a good idea to think of something special to do for them following the ceremony or cocktail hour.

A nanny can be hired to keep an eye on things in a neighbouring room at the venue where your guests will be waiting. Plan engaging, age-appropriate activities like pizza-making classes and mini-buffets of breakfast for supper with the help of your nanny service.

Don't Make it an "adults-Mostly" Reception

You can have kids in your wedding party without having a kids' meal at the reception, but be kind of other families and don't make special accommodations. Allowing some guests to bring their families while others are not could give the impression that you choose which children were invited. This could be awkward. Inviting only children to the ceremony is definitely not a good idea either, since the kids will likely cry when they have to leave their parents or when they see the other guests leaving for the party and realise they can't stay.

Do Call Anyone Who Assumes Their Kids Are Invited

Many of your relatives will likely start asking why you're not letting any of the kids under the age of 18 attend. Contact them immediately and explain the delicate situation; regrettably, not everyone can be invited.

Budget and location restrictions can be cited (if desired) to deflect additional criticism and prevent further wounded sentiments. It is not necessary to provide a detailed justification. Even though your wedding for adults only may be unpopular with certain guests, it's acceptable to explain your decision as a matter of personal preference and move on.

Don't Waver

Don't be surprised if you still get pushback after sending out invitations, spreading the word in person, and making a note on your website. Keep in mind that you and your spouse have complete discretion over who is invited to the wedding, just like you would with any other major decision. You should be understanding towards the problem and the angry parents, but you shouldn't back down.

Let's say you're dealing with an irate visitor and you really care about making them happy. In that scenario, it might be thoughtful to offer to pay for a babysitter to look after their kids while they enjoy the wedding in peace. The most you can do for guests travelling with children is to be accommodating and considerate. Need help planning your wedding? Check out our list of Wedding Event Planners here.

Wording Examples for Wedding Invitations with No Children

Words to Use When Your Location Strictly Prohibits Children

• Due to venue limits, we regret that we cannot welcome minors.
• We regret that we cannot offer this invitation to youngsters due to safety concerns at our site.
• We regret that our wedding venue does not allow us to invite anyone under the age of 18.
• Due to the venue's no-children policy, we cannot invite any young guests to the wedding.

How to Express Yourself When You Are Deciding to Allow Certain Children

• Though we wish we could invite the children of all our acquaintances, we are limited to inviting those of immediate family members exclusively. This is a difficult decision, but we hope you'll be able to respect it so that you can still celebrate with us on our big day.
• Since we have a limited budget, we may only invite the children of our immediate family and wedding party.
• Since we only have a small venue, we can only invite the kids in our immediate family to the wedding.
• Unfortunately, we can't have any kids at the wedding besides the page boys and flower girls.
• Only children in the wedding party will be able to stay with us.
• Unfortunately, we can only extend invitations to members of the immediate family, however we apologise if this limits anyone's ability to invite their children.
• It's only the relatives' kids because they have to be there, not because they want to. Thanks for your cooperation, and have a nice evening off!
• Due to limited seating, we are unable to accommodate children during the reception. Only children in our wedding party will be present. Let us know if you need assistance finding childcare, and we'll do all we can to help.

Phrases for When You Just Want to Maintain It Easy

• We regret that we cannot have children present at our wedding.
• If possible, we'd prefer that no minors attend our wedding.
• Keep in mind that this is an adult-only wedding.
• We regret that we cannot include any minors in our wedding guest list. Given this head's up, we're crossing our fingers that you can make it.

Invite Children to the Wedding: What to Say

• Teens and young adults are permitted to join the service and early celebration. At XXpm, however, only adults will be allowed into the event. For additional details on the creche we'll be offering as a free add-on to the wedding, please visit our website.
• We ask that anyone under the age of 18 not come to the reception.
• Outside of the immediate bridal party, children are not welcomed to the ceremony but are welcome during the reception.
• If possible, we'd prefer that no minors attend our wedding. But during the XXpm evening gathering, we'd want to extend the invitation to your kids as well. '
• Please join us at XXpm for an evening reception for adults only after the ceremony and cocktail hour.

How to Express That You're Trying to Save Money

• Because of financial restraints, we regret that we can only invite guests over the age of 18.
• We wish we could invite your kids to the wedding, but unfortunately, we can only afford to invite adults.
• Unfortunately, we can only afford to invite those over the age of 18 to our wedding.

How to Word It When Babies Are Allowed

• We regret that children cannot attend this wedding. You may, however, bring children less than 12 months along.
• Only those over the age of 18 admitted; infants under six months old not allowed. Looking for a Wedding Event Planner? Look no further, Cosmopolitan Events has you covered.

Statements to Avoid Making if You Won't Be Including Kids in the Celebration

As a gesture of appreciation, we're giving you tonight off. This seems arrogant, even if the parents would prefer a night out, and dismissive, given how hard it can be to obtain childcare, especially overnight.

To help you relax, we've decided not to invite any little ones. Again, this reeks of condescension and also suggests that your wedding will have an air of a frat party.

We want everyone who attends our wedding, even the parents, to have a nice time, so we decided to make it an adults-only event. Wording that suggests parents can't enjoy themselves while their kids are around is likely to be met with resistance.

Conclusion

By inviting only parents and not their children to the wedding, some couples make it clear that the celebration is for adults alone. There can be exceptions made for the children of the bride and groom, the bridesmaids, the ushers, and the page boys and flower girls. Any suggestion that their child is being excluded could hurt the parents' feelings. Allowing some parents to leave early is fine. Don't feel like you have to justify turning away anyone under the age of 18 from your event.

It's possible that some guests will confuse the host and their children. Make an effort to calm things down by doing something kind. There will be no restrictions on children attending the ceremony or photos, but the reception is strictly adults only. Include one of these words on your invitation to make the appropriate announcement: Since our discussion group does not welcome kids, there won't be any to watch.

No one under the age of 18 is permitted to attend the ceremony. One nice touch is to provide a message explaining why the gathering is adults only and suggesting nearby daycare services. Little ones are encouraged to play a role in the ceremony as flower girls, ring bearers, and other attendants. Activities such as pizza-making lessons and mini-buffets of breakfast for dinner can be fun and age-appropriate for kids of all ages. You might simply state that your choice was based on your own preferences and move on.

Content Summary

• The question to decide whether or not to join youngsters in the celebration ranks among the most difficult to resolve.
• You should be very careful with the phrasing of your invitations and keep the dates in regards to the presence of children.
• One reason for this is the heated debate that typically surrounds the question of inviting children to the wedding.
• Some couples signal to their guests that the wedding is intended for adults exclusively by sending invitations to the parents instead of the children.
• Our "no kids at the wedding" message is well-written and appropriate under any and all scenarios.
• Forget about your parents missing the party.
• Don't feel obligated to explain your decision to restrict attendance to those over the age of 18.
• It's easiest to just say "adults only" on the invitation if you don't want any children at the wedding.
• Be sure to note on the invitation or reply card that there will be no children attending the wedding.
• We've decided to hold an adults-only reception at our wedding so that everyone, including the parents, can kick back and enjoy the evening.
• Try something like this if you want children to be present at the ceremony but not the reception: Only the ceremony is appropriate for children.
• Children are welcome to attend the ceremony, but the reception is only for adults.
• Ensure that your invitations are sent to the correct people.
• Your decision to keep your wedding child-free should not make you feel bad, but it would be impolite to put your decision in bold on the invitations.
• Make sure visitors have plenty of time to find a babysitter by having your family, wedding party, and friends spread the word by word of mouth.
• Even though your wedding for adults only may be unpopular with certain guests, it's acceptable to explain your decision as a matter of personal preference and move on.
• Keep in mind that you and your spouse have complete discretion over who is invited to the wedding, just like you would with any other major decision.
• Due to the venue's no-children policy, we cannot invite any young guests to the wedding.
• Since we only have a small venue, we can only invite the kids in our immediate family to the wedding.
• Unfortunately, we can only extend invitations to members of the immediate family, however we apologise if this limits anyone's ability to invite their children.
• Due to limited seating, we are unable to accommodate children during the reception.
• Only children in our wedding party will be present.
• At XXpm, however, only adults will be allowed into the event.
• We ask that anyone under the age of 18 not come to the reception.
• Outside of the immediate bridal party, children are not welcomed to the ceremony but are welcome during the reception.
• But during the XXpm evening gathering, we'd want to extend the invitation to your kids as well. '
• Please join us at XXpm for an evening reception for adults only after the ceremony and cocktail hour.
• We wish we could invite your kids to the wedding, but unfortunately, we can only afford to invite adults.
• Unfortunately, we can only afford to invite those over the age of 18 to our wedding.
• We want everyone who attends our wedding, even the parents, to have a nice time, so we decided to make it an adults-only event.