Everything You Need to Know About Planning a Second Wedding

Second Wedding Planning

Create Your Own Ceremony

It is not as common for the bride to be "given away" by her family during her second wedding as it is at her first. Thus, processionals at ceremonies are typically more subdued.

It has been our experience that second-time brides and grooms want their ceremonies to feel completely different from the first.

Consider Writing Your Own Vows

You might have penned your vows the first time around, but this time around you might not.

Perhaps you wish you had written your vows the first time around because of how much more significance your current soon-to-be spouse and your bond to this person holds for you. Words for the ceremony, vows, and even the proclamation should all represent the couple's love and ideals, just as they do for a first marriage.

Particularly in second marriages, it's important to recognise the unique qualities that brought you together. This is the perfect time for heartfelt vows or a touching narrative recounted by the officiant to spread the love. Need help planning your wedding? Check out our list of Wedding Event Planners here. 

Spend Time Selecting the Right Attire

You probably wore a white dress or tux to your first wedding, but this time around you might feel like shaking things up a bit.

It's traditional to wear white for a wedding, and there's absolutely no harm in doing so again, but if this is your second time down the aisle, you might want to try something new.

Keep in mind that the most crucial factor is selecting an outfit that makes you feel confident and attractive.

Say Yes to the White Wedding Gown

On your second wedding day, feel free to wear whatever makes you happy. Choose the stunning blush dress or the classic white.

You can choose from a variety of stunning wedding attire options, including short, long, princess-cut, ball gown, and even a pair of white slacks. Dress in something that brings out your best features, regardless of colour. Please keep in mind that it is not required to have a dinner rehearsal. The garter and bouquet toss are optional extras that can be eliminated.

It's acceptable to do whatever you want at a wedding, but the second time around is especially up for interpretation.

Be Choosy With Your Invitations

The invitation is one of the most personal aspects of a second wedding. When planning invitations for a second, third, fourth, etc. wedding, it's important to take into account the fact that the bride and groom are likely to be more mature.

As a result, if your parents aren't going to be footing the bill for the ceremony, there's no point in inviting them. Instead, select invitations that come directly from you and your partner, and provide visitors with all the information they need, such as whether the event is black tie optional, casual, etc.

Decide Whether or Not You're Accepting Gifts

It's common for second wedding gift etiquette to be more fraught with emotion. Since you've already been married and been through a wedding, you probably already have some of the gifts.

It can be awkward to ask for gifts for a second wedding when at least some of the guests will be familiar faces from the first. You don't have to include a donation amount in the invitation if you don't want to; visitors will contribute what they believe is appropriate.

If you'd rather have people donate to charity instead of bringing you a present, be sure to specify that on the invitation.

Incorporate Children If Either of You Are Parents

The challenges of blended families can be mitigated by giving the children a sense of respect and agency.

Make sure any kids you have are aware of how important they are to the two of you as a unit. Then, include them in the action by assigning them a part they can take pride in playing regardless of their age.

Be mindful of the child's emotions at all times and do everything you can to meet their needs. You should never, ever, ever forget them.

Assigning older children age-appropriate positions, such as junior bridesmaid or maid of honour with less responsibility, is important. Don't do anything without first consulting your kids about what they're comfortable doing and taking on as duties.

While some may be eager to take the spotlight and even share a reading with you, others may be more reserved and prefer to work behind the scenes.

Second Wedding Etiquette

Although this isn't your first wedding, you should nonetheless treasure it as though it were. It's simple to see how some people would fail at marriage the first time around. In the event that your first spouse has died away, please accept our deepest sympathies.

Let's get back to business. Knowledgeably preparing for a second wedding by knowing what is and is not frowned upon. Don't get us wrong—your second nuptials should be just as exciting as the first, and you get to make all the decisions.

There are, however, some considerations that second-time brides should keep in mind as they plan for this momentous and, arguably, divisive event. Therefore, without further ado, here are a few pointers on how to conduct a second wedding properly.

Make Sure You Let Your Children Know

The truth is, whether it's your first or third wedding, each one is unique in its own way. Unfortunately, a second nuptial ceremony cannot replicate the first.

Tact is essential while organising a second wedding. We'd want to clarify. In your first marriage, your kids might not have been born yet or they might have been too little to remember.

It would have been simpler to just make a public announcement online or to keep the whole thing quiet and treat it as a private matter. Such luxuries are out of the question, however, when second marriages involve children; the offspring of both sets of parents should be among the first to learn of the marriage.

Your ex-spouse may also need to be informed. It is courteous to let him know that you have moved on if he is still alive. Of course, it's up to you to decide if and when to contact your ex.

However, if your ex is still involved in your children's lives or has a close relationship with them, he should receive the news directly from you.

Feel Free to Have Bridesmaids and Groomsmen

For a second marriage, the bride and groom can choose whether or not to have bridesmaids and groomsmen.

That goes against no standards of wedding etiquette. Again, it is up to you, the bride, to choose which of your friends will be at your side while you make this important choice.

Feel free to make minor adjustments to the wedding plans if you'd like to do something a little bit differently from the first time around. But don't minimise the significance of the wedding ceremony just because you believe it's less exciting.

Make a Gift Registry

It's still possible that visitors will wish to give you a wedding present, but as you'll see, the decision is entirely up to them and not the bride and groom. However, a gift registry can assist direct guests to more appropriate presents.

It's likely that you and your spouse already have many of the wedding essentials. Any guests planning on giving you a present would benefit greatly from having access to a gift registry where they could see all of the items you have selected.

The wedding gifts should be affordable as well as tasteful. This is especially crucial if some of the same people who attended the other wedding will also be attending your reception.

Even if you don't want gifts (which is the case for many second marriages), you should register so that your guests know where to get appropriate presents. Alternatively, you may start a honeymoon fund or register for items on a website. You get the money either way! Certainly not a bad thought.

Wording Your Invitations: What Name Should I Use?

Guests at a second marriage may feel awkward about how to express their invitation. You may still be referred to by your ex-first spouse's name by some of your friends and coworkers.

One of the most important rules is to call yourself by the name you want. If you're worried that invitees will get confused, specify for clarity. Make a phone call, alternatively.

Feel Free to Cut Down the Guest List

If you're getting married again, the correct people should be there to witness your vow renewal.

You need the love and encouragement of your loved ones, as well as their genuine joy and satisfaction for you. That's why it's crucial to be selective about the people you invite. Go all out if that's what you want for your wedding celebration.

On the wedding day, though, it's preferable to keep things on the smaller side. You'll feel like you're among friends and family who truly care about you and your new husband.

To avoid coming across as impolite, send out wedding invitations and ask guests to respond with their attendance plans. The only persons who would make the effort to come, however, would be those who were specifically invited to the event.

Learn What the Rules Are for a Remarriage

Knowing your budgetary limitations and the type of wedding dress you can afford are important considerations for a second marriage. You can still have a good time and organise a great party despite this. Don't forget to double-check the essentials.

Make sure you ask the minister if they perform weddings for previously divorced couples if that's where you're thinking of having the ceremony. Inquire about the types of wedding gowns they approve of and for any more advice they may offer.

A lot of churches that marry divorcees won't care what you're wearing, but it's still good to know the rules.

Don’t Expect Your Parents to Cover the Expenses

Don't expect your parents to foot the bill for a second wedding bash if they paid for most of your previous one. It would be considered rude, and if money is tight, you should probably wait till you have more.

If your parents offer to help out financially, it is best to politely decline because doing so would place undue stress on them. Either you and your partner may like to have a lavish wedding celebration. In this instance, you'll both need to be prepared to chip in.

Please keep in mind that there is absolutely no need to go to any great lengths. If you don't have a lot of money right now, you should make due with what you have.

Giving Away the Bride at a Second Marriage Ceremony

Don't hold back on your creative thinking. You never know who it might be these days. It's possible that your best friend, mother, grandparents, or even little children will be just fine. It's also possible to have two special guests serve as your "best men" at the ceremony.

Don’t Try to Re-Create Your First Wedding

No one is going to tell you that you can't wear white to your engagement or wedding party, and no one can prevent you from having a fantastic one, either. But don't try to top the first wedding day you ever had; this one is far bigger and better.

Instead, put your energy into making this day unforgettable for everyone involved, from your spouse to your young children. You and your future spouse may have many unique ideas for the wedding itself, from the cake to the guests invited, the colours, and the location. Your children may also want to be more involved.

Don’t Feel the Need to ‘Tone Down’ the Wedding

Your loved ones may tell you that they are too old to celebrate your special day with you. You shouldn't forget that today is still all about you.

You don't want to go broke, but you also don't want to have a boring wedding, so if you can afford it, splurge on a beautiful outfit, a unique location, and a delicious cake.

Don’t Wear a Veil

We've established that white is perfectly fine for brides, but veils are sometimes frowned upon.

By convention, a second-time bride shouldn't wear a veil. The same goes for expecting mothers. The rules are here to be reiterated, but you are free to break them if you so want.

However, the veil should be omitted, as it is more appropriate for brides on their wedding day.

Don’t Expect Gifts

It's a bit harsh, but I don't think second-time-around-the-table-vow-takers should expect gifts. Please refrain from making jokes or dropping suggestions if any of the guests at your wedding have already splurged on gifts for your ex's first engagement and wedding. Stuck for the perfect gift for your guests? Check out our extensive list of Bomboniere Ideas here.

What Makes a Second Marriage So Much Better Than the First

One of the most courageous things you can do is to be married for a second time. The truth, though, is that a more wiser, compassionate, trustworthy you is free for the taking. It's true that the sequel is always superior to the first.

As expected, things change drastically between the ages of 20 and 40. But you may use that firsthand knowledge to make your bond stronger and more genuine.

Now that you're older and wiser, you've gained clarity about what it is you really want out of life, and you've seen the reality of marriage for what it really is. You may take responsibility for your actions and go forwards to create a lovely, loving life together.

Keep in mind that you have the power to choose whether or not to stay married, and if you do, commit yourself fully this time. Sure, do your best, but enjoy yourself while doing it!

Conclusion

Although organising a second wedding may seem impossible at first, with the right information, it's actually rather simple. The second time around, the bride and groom desire a unique and memorable experience. You can get married in a religious or secular ceremony, or you can write your own vows. It's especially crucial in second marriages to appreciate the same interests and values that led to your initial attraction. Now is the opportunity for the officiant to share a story or read a poem that the couple will find meaningful.

You don't have to include the garter and bouquet toss if you don't want to. Gift requests at a second wedding can be difficult if some of the guests are also present at the first wedding. For older kids, it's ideal to give them responsibilities commensurate with their ages, such as junior bridesmaid or maid of honour. Never force your children to do something against their will; always ask them first whether they are okay with it. Planning a second wedding requires sensitivity.

The bride and groom in a second marriage are not required to have attendants of either gender. Guests can be guided towards more suitable presents by using a register. The wedding presents must be both practical and elegant. It's possible that some of your friends and coworkers still call you by the name of your first spouse after you've divorced. Inquire with the officiant about whether or not they will marry a couple that has been divorced.

Consider your financial situation and the cost of a wedding dress before planning a second wedding. Don't count on your folks to pay for a second wedding. You should probably hold off till you have more cash on hand. Don't worry about "Toning Down" the Wedding. The regulations are restated for your convenience, but you are free to disregard them at your own risk.

Content Summary

• The perfect second wedding can still be planned.
• Few people ever consider organising a second nuptial ceremony.
• Everything you need to know to throw a wonderful party, from selecting invitations to choosing the best cake flavour, is right here.
• The secrets to a successful second nuptial ceremony are revealed.
• It is not as common for the bride to be "given away" by her family during her second wedding as it is at her first.
• Words for the ceremony, vows, and even the proclamation should all represent the couple's love and ideals, just as they do for a first marriage.
• The invitation is one of the most personal aspects of a second wedding.
• When planning invitations for a second, third, fourth, etc.
• Instead, select invitations that come directly from you and your partner, and provide visitors with all the information they need, such as whether the event is black tie optional, casual, etc.
• It's common for second wedding gift etiquette to be more fraught with emotion.
• Since you've already been married and been through a wedding, you probably already have some of the gifts.
• It can be awkward to ask for gifts for a second wedding when at least some of the guests will be familiar faces from the first.
• Be mindful of the child's emotions at all times and do everything you can to meet their needs.
• Don't do anything without first consulting your kids about what they're comfortable doing and taking on as duties.
• Although this isn't your first wedding, you should nonetheless treasure it as though it were.
• Knowledgeably preparing for a second wedding by knowing what is and is not frowned upon.
• Unfortunately, a second nuptial ceremony cannot replicate the first.
• Tact is essential while organising a second wedding.
• For a second marriage, the bride and groom can choose whether or not to have bridesmaids and groomsmen.
• However, a gift registry can assist direct guests to more appropriate presents.
• One of the most important rules is to call yourself by the name you want.
• That's why it's crucial to be selective about the people you invite.
• Go all out if that's what you want for your wedding celebration.
• Don't expect your parents to foot the bill for a second wedding bash if they paid for most of your previous one.
• Either you and your partner may like to have a lavish wedding celebration.
• But don't try to top the first wedding day you ever had; this one is far bigger and better.
• We've established that white is perfectly fine for brides, but veils are sometimes frowned upon.
• However, the veil should be omitted, as it is more appropriate for brides on their wedding day.
• Please refrain from making jokes or dropping suggestions if any of the guests at your wedding have already splurged on gifts for your ex's first engagement and wedding.
• One of the most courageous things you can do is to be married for a second time.
• The truth, though, is that a more wiser, compassionate, trustworthy you is free for the taking.
• It's true that the sequel is always superior to the first.
• Now that you're older and wiser, you've gained clarity about what it is you really want out of life, and you've seen the reality of marriage for what it really is.
• Keep in mind that you have the power to choose whether or not to stay married, and if you do, commit yourself fully this time.